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Dealing with ‘I Want to Quit’
It’s those dreaded four words you are bound to hear from your little one at some point….
Don’t worry! Remember that music is not easy and that there will be points where a stiff upper lip and a bit of tough love will go a long way. Like with everything else in life, it is much easier to quit than to return to your activity. Don’t let your child start quitting so early on. Spotty areas will happen but sometimes it’s a matter of waiting a couple more weeks, a few more months, or until the next performance or recital to spark up that interest all over again. Telling your child to stick with it is the first step to instilling a strong sense of discipline early on.
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Try an identify the source of the problem and tackle it head on. Ask your children whether they are enjoying the songs they are playing. Sometimes it’s a simple matter of just changing up the repertoire or slipping in a popular some into the song list.
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Ask whether they are keeping up in their lessons. If they are struggling, it may be that they aren’t devoting enough time to practice between lessons. This can make lessons seem difficult and tedious as students have not built up their skills from the previous lessons. Help them manage their time better to squeeze a little bit more practice in to make lessons go smoother and see more progress.
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Sometimes, children find the thought of losing out on free time or time with friends a reason to reduce the frequency of lessons or quit lessons altogether. Remind that why they wanted to begin music in the first place and point out how far they have come and what they have accomplished. It may be helpful to speak to the activities their friends engage in to demonstrate the value of extracurriculars.
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Younger ages might need some extra encouragement, particularly in the early days while skills are being built and through some of the more tedious parts. A good way to reinforce a positive attitude is to do something fun together after the lesson, like a quick stop on the way home for ice-cream or via the park. That way they associate music with a weekly treat for a job well done.
*NOTE: Students who quit, rarely (if ever) return to their lesson. I have never met a parent who said, “I am really glad I let my child give up music.” However, I frequently hear both parents and students regret giving up playing such a wonderful instrument. Children are likely to get frustrated and say that they don’t want to do music. However, parents sometimes have to push back. Think of what would happen if we didn’t make our kids do other things they don’t want to do like brush their teeth, do their homework, help their siblings, and help around the house! Music is much more fun and stimulating than all of these!